................................. [13 Jun 2005|12:12am] SOMETIMES LIFE LOOKS LIKE ITS GOING GREAT FOR A PERSON, AND THEY HAVE EVERYTHING THEY EVER WANTED...BUT TRUST ME, THEY ARE STILL NOT HAPPY.. I HATE IT. post comment

............................................ [23 Jan 2005|10:47pm] [ mood | frustrated ] [ music | the box that controls my thaughts (money maker) ] it wasnt a very good week but still... i love you with all my heart and i always will<3 post comment

dun dun dunnunu dun dun weh!!! weh!!!! weh!!! dununu [09 Jan 2005|02:29am] [ mood | mellow ] [ music | the acacia strain!!!!!! ] tonight was a lot of fun. i havent moshed like that in a long time and it felt good =). most every band that played brought some sick ass shit that got the crowd pumped. it was tight cuz i kept slam dunking these lame ass chicks in the front and then there was this gay kid with a ponytail being an ass so i slammed dunked his face. i felt tuff <3. after the show we went to the hat and sat and talked forever about everything from music to some tight video games. tonight was the best time ive had in so long it was great tehehehehehe im gay!!!!! Where have you gone? How Does time pass by so fast Seems like yesterday You and I We Could Relate But you know how things change But is it me? Or is it time? Now I'm stuck looking back On somehting that I'll never have again All this time with regret I Just Lost Today Worrying about yesterday Can't live in yesterday All this time with regret I lost today Worrying about yesterday I lost today And No I'll never forget about you I lost today I just came to terms that I've lost you On with my life 3 comments|post comment

high school is just flying byyyyyyyyy =/ [05 Jan 2005|10:43pm] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | comeback kid, all in a year ] you know wats strange? one minute your sitting in mrs arias' 9th grade english class and your thinkin ''ill be in high school for a million years, wen will it end????'' well, its finally coming to an end and im not ready for it.=/ you sit in the comfort of your parents and school for 18 years. never having to worry about paying the bills, doing your taxes, getting groceries etc. but now that ur of age and on your own. life is hard. you dont appreciate those ppl that have taken care of you for your entire life, until there no longer there. you must change and you must grow up. but you know i dont wanna grow up =( i know a lot of ppl cant wait to turn and move away but i dont. i really love the way my life is (minus a few itty bitty problems) as of now. i guess maybe it comes with maturity and ill be honest i dont think im mature enough to handle adult responsibilities. i dunno i was just thinkin....as much as i want school to end i dont want to leave. i love it andi love everything that comes with being my age. so ive made a decision..i aint gonna grow up =) .......................................................................................................... well today was fun...after lunch i had to wait for jess to get outta 6th so i went and hung out with jimmyfor awhile talking about how were gonna kick the asses of the ppl that jacked his car. then talkedto adrian about guitars and shit. after school josh drove me and jess to starbucks and me and her chilled for an hour there and homegoods. honestly my favorite days are wen its just me and her doing nothing in particular just enjoying eachothers company over a cup-a-joooooeee<3 now that i think about it. maybe growing isnt to bad i guess. as long as the people you love grow up with you. <3 3 comments|post comment

today is a better day than any to get a lj [08 Sep 2004|12:53am] [ mood | melancholy ] [ music | oasis, wonder wall ] well i finally got one of these things. how funny that it took an event like this to get one. today was one of the strangest and saddest days of my life and ill never forget it. it began with me going to school like normal. After school i went to a little show at a church where some guy tried to preach to me about god. i came back to my house and this is where things really started to go down hill. long story short me and ryan had a long talk which took place because of sick drama that happened earlier after that was done i went home at around 10. let me give u some background before i tell u y my life went to shit tonight. for the past 2 days my mother has been in the worst mood she has ever been in and these last few days ive had enough of it. i pretty much told her she wasnt going to abuse her power as mother just because shes in a rotten mood which made her madder then hell. this was 2 days ago. tonight wen i came home i went straight to my room wen i got in. about 5 minutes after i got in, she came into my room and said who gave me permishion to leave the house these few days. i told her father because my mother hasnt been fit to be a mother lately. at this point she went to grab me so i grabbed her(in self defense) and threw her out of my room and closed the door. seeing as how my door has no lock for some reason, i pushed my couch up against it to keep it shut. for the next hour it would be back and forth between me dad and my mother (father being on my side from the guest house.) eventually, she disconnects my cell phone which i thaught was no big deal at the time so i laughed it off and went around my patio to get to the kithen were i got some pizza and pink lemonade. i went back into my room and began eating my food while sitting on the couch up against the door. all of sudden outta no where, my brother albert is at my door trying to kick and punch it open eventually trying to break it down which luckily never happened but he fucked it up sick like nasty.throgh the door he is yelling and cussing at me and telling me how horrible i am blah blah blah. finally he stops trying and says im gonna go and have a word with dad. (oh by the way if u havent noticed my brother has been manipulated by my mom into thinking she is the victim wen really shes the fucking devil terrorizing us) i wait a while to see if hhe and eventually him and my mother walk up there and yell at my dad and sister. i go up there through the back door and throw my brother out of the guest house. all this time him yelling that im horrible this and that just nonsense.they go back to the house and i tell my dad im going over there to get my stuff and then im leaving. so i venture over to the devils mansion. the front door is locked so i decide hey, if he is gonna try and kick my door down then im gonna kick that door down. so i go up to it and kick once, then twice bringing the door off the hinges and outta the frame. theyre in there talking shit like i expected them too and telling me to get the fuck out they never want to see me ever again blah blah blah (my own brother and mother hmmm...some family.) so i gather all my belongings and walk outside with them slamming the broken door (Which fucks it up more) behind me. oh for the record, my parents are getting a permanent seperation, divorce. i decide im going to go to joeys and spend the night and so i come in and tell him wat i just told u. he says hell wake me for school so i decide to sleep in the living room. seing as how i cant sleep i write this because of all the emotion i feel. i want to scream from the top of my lungs but i dont wanna disturb them. so i decide to write to fentilate how i feel. please, dont feel sorry for me, im still doing great because i have great people in my life who are there to make things better. i love all of you for that. goodbye <3 a few more things before i crash out. thank you joey you are a true friend and i love you i love my father and sister more then anything. there all the family i got now. i will never forgive those bastards for as long as i live go to fucking hell you two. and sorry if i dont make sense ima getting kinda tired as im writing this i better go to bed now school tommara brah!!!!! post comment

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